Bella's First Time
by maternalluv20
Summary: What if Edward had done more than merely scolded Bella for attempting to cut herself, and distract Victoria during the battle scene in "Eclipse?" Read inside there is more info. WARNING: This story does contain spanking. Don't read if you don't like CP!
1. Reluctance

**Author's Note:**** Hello dears! So I originally deleted this story because it seemed to make some people feel uncomfortable, but after being encouraged by a fellow fan-fic author, I decided that I don't care anymore. This is my story, and it's purely for the entertainment of my readers who like these kinds of story. **

**I am going to warn everyone right now, this story does contain spanking in it, so if it makes you uncomfortable, then please DO NOT READ IT. **

**I did change some parts from the original, trying to make it seem less intense for those who are sensitive, so I hope it's satisfactory.**

**This story is based off of the scene in "Eclipse," where Bella tried to distract Victoria during the big battle scene, by thinking about cutting her arm with a sharp rock. I know she was trying to help in the battle, but I also think it was a very dangerous decision.**

**So this will be Bella's first spanking, but I think you all will find yourself enjoying it, because Edward will be extremely loving towards her, before, during and after the process. **

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

Warning: Again, this story does contain spanking of a teenager; so if this makes you uncomfortable, please do not read it.

**Bella's First Time**

Chapter 1: Reluctance

Edward was silent as he ran home with Bella in his arms.

He really didn't know how he was able to be so calm after that little stunt she had almost pulled.

"_Bella, did you really think that that drawing your own blood would have helped the situation you were in? You almost gave me a heart attack! And that's not easy to do!"_

Edward had scolded her after the Volturi had left the aftermath scene of the battle.

Bella had merely snapped back at Edward after he said this and proceeded to childishly give her excuses as to why she was going to do it.

Edward had then decided that they needed to discuss this matter in private, and calmly scooped up and struggling Bella, and proceeded to carry her to his home.

_I don't want to do it…but I'm going to have to. She's already put herself in harm's way more than once; this has been put off for far too long. _He thought as he sped past the pine trees.

Edward has considered using his method of discipline on Bella so much earlier in their relationship, but each time he felt that it would've been wrong or that he still needed to wait until they knew each other better.

_I couldn't very well spank Bella for leaving Jasper and Alice's safety when James was still alive, she was just trying to be selfless and save what she thought was her mom._

Of course after that whole ordeal, Bella had to heal from her injuries, so it would've been a totally inappropriate time to introduce that part of him to her. Edward decided to let it go since it was the first time.

After the incident of the cliff diving from pure defiance, Edward wanted nothing more than to put Bella over his knee. He had warned her to not put herself in any danger while he was gone!

_Of course I couldn't do it then either…because I was the one who left her, and my guilt was still too fresh for putting her in that position at all._

Once again, Edward let the matter pass, feeling it he would've had no right to do that to her at that particular time.

After that, there were plenty of other opportunities for Edward to warm Bella's backside, especially that time when she snuck out of school to run off with Jacob.

However, he was so angry that he was afraid he'd hurt her when he finally got a hold of her.

Yes, he had let many of those moments pass, each time making up an excuse for his beloved.

At one point he even threatened Bella with a spanking, and while she had been shocked into behaving, he knew that his warning was forgotten since then.

As they spent more time together, Edward began to see that Bella not only had a fiery streak that needed to be tamed, but she also had a tendency to bury herself in guilt and suffer emotional torment whenever she felt it was necessary.

_Far be it from me to let you torment yourself my Bella. I'm going to give you what you desperately need my love. You will not like it, but I know you will feel release and relief after it is over._

The beautiful house finally came into view, and Edward gently set Bella down.

"Would you care to explain to me what the hell that was about back there?" Bella demanded angrily while crossing her arms. "Edward, you know that I was just trying to help you all back there at the battle. I'm sorry I scared you, but I'd rather die than see you or any of my other friends get hurt!"

Edward glowered at her and sucked in his breath sharply at her words. "Bella, your intentions may have been good, but the truth of the matter is that it was stupid and selfish! You do realize that if you had actually gone through with your little plan, Victoria could've gotten a hold of you, and I'd have to be the one to tell Charlie why his little girl was dead! And you know that I can't live in a world where you don't exist Bella, so I'd be fighting brutally with myself over whether to stay alive for my family's sake, or to once again attempt to kill myself!"

"Then that makes you just as selfish as me Edward!" Bella snapped in reply while stamping her foot on the ground.

Edward grudgingly admitted that she was right, but he was not focusing on him, he was focusing on her. "That's not the point Bella, the point is that you put yourself in danger after I've warned you countless number of times to not willingly put yourself in harm's way! Not only that, but when I reprimanded you for it back there, you proceeded to throw a childish temper tantrum in front of my family, and utter words that are not befitting for a young lady!"

Bella's eyes widened incredulously at his words. "What am I five or something? I' not a child Edward! You can't tell me what I can and cannot say or do! I'm 18! Legally free to do what I want! I'm practically an adult, and you're treating me like a kid!"

"If you weren't behaving like one missy then maybe I wouldn't have to address you in such a way!"

A fire raged so wildly in Bella's heart, that she was unable to stop the words that came out of her mouth, "F*** off bloodsucker!"

Edward's eyes widened in disbelief at the foul words that had just come from her mouth; but what really hurt him, was the fact that she used the unkind nickname that Jacob himself used on Edward all the time.

As soon as the word's left her mouth, Bella instantly slapped her hand to her lips and felt horrible for what she'd said. Alas, her anger still lingered, and her stubborn will would not permit her to apologize to him for what she said.

Edward closed his eyes while pursing his lips. She was really toying with his emotions, and he needed to calm down fast before he reacted in anger.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I want you to go to my room, and wait for me. I'll be up in a minute after I calm down." He said quietly while pointing to the house.

Bella was about to protest, but when Edward opened his eyes to look at her, the warning look he gave was enough to send her scurrying.

After she had gone inside the house, Edward waited a couple of minutes before walking in after her. As he entered the house, he was stopped by the site of Alice standing in the living room, her wide eyes showing concern and a little fear.

"Alice, what are you doing home?" Edward asked disapprovingly while closing the door.

Immediately, Alice rushed towards him. "Edward, please don't tell me that you're really going to…?"

Edward nodded his head solemnly, answering her unfinished question. "I'm afraid so Alice. I've put this off for far too long. I love my Bella…and that's why I'm going to do it. For her safety, and because I love her."

"But…but Edward this is her first time! She's a fragile little thing; I don't think she could handle it the way we've been able to in the past. Don't you think it might be a bit much? Don't you think it would hurt her?"

Alice's pout was so adorable that Edward couldn't resist pulling her into his embrace. "Sister…do you not trust me?" He asked while taking her chin in his hand and lifting her face to meet his gaze.

Alice looked deep into his eyes, and saw what would happen to Bella in more detail. After a couple of minutes, she relaxed and nodded her head. "Of course I do bro, it's just…"

"You don't want to see your sister in pain. I know Alice…she will feel the pain, but you know I would never hurt her; and I will comfort her afterwards like Carlisle used to do with us."

"I still don't know Edward…what if she takes it the wrong way?"

Edward sighed while stroking Alice's cheek, "Don't you think it would be much worse for me to let her fall in the dark? To let her torture herself with her own guilt, and then let it encourage her emotions to lash out at her loved ones, and behave like a naughty child? She needs attention Alice, she's begging for it. She knows I love her, but she needs a firm hand to help confirm that. I can't keep letting her get away with her behavior. You'd do the same thing too my sister, if you were me."

Alice allowed herself to smile. "Edward, I'd do it anyway. You're right…I know you'd never hurt her. Just please promise me you'll go easy on her. It will be a lot for her to take in since it's her first time."

"Yes I know…" Edward chuckled pleasantly while nodding in agreement.

"And don't worry, you'll have the whole house to yourselves. I sent everyone else away to hunt. Of course Rosalie wanted to stay so she could listen in on the 'conversation.'" Alice frowned while shaking her head.

Edward rolled his eyes while scoffing at the idea. "Of course she would…what made her change her mind?"

Alice smiled widely while giggling. "Well, Emmet threatened her with the same treatment if she didn't do as I said."

The siblings both shared in quiet laughter at this idea. "Now there's something I'd like to see." Edward replied.

"Yes, wouldn't we all? But I'd better leave you to your love now bro. I'm getting hungry, and Jasper promised me a nice juicy cougar."

"Rawr!" Edward growled playfully while winking at his sister.

"Freak." Alice laughed while hitting her brother upside the head.

Both proceeded to head their own directions; Alice to the door, and Edward to the stairs.

"Oh and Ed?"

Edward paused at the stairs while looking back at Alice expectedly.

"Don't forget the soothing lotion." Alice laughed before flying gracefully out the front door.

"Yes, she's going to need it." Edward responded to the empty room while smiling softly to himself, before slowly gliding up the stairs to deal with his beloved.


	2. Consequences and Comfort

**Author's Note:**** Okay here's the second installment. I will try hard to make this second chapter worth everyone's while. **

**This chapter will have a lot of love, fluff, and comforting in it too, so if it's too sweet for anyone, sorry, you're dealing with an extremely compassionate writer here ;) **

**Again, I would like to remind my readers that this IS a story that contains a spanking in it. If it makes anyone feel uncomfortable, I am warning you once and for all, DO NOT READ IT. I am open to constructive criticism and suggestions, but flames are totally unnecessary and just rude. **

**For the rest of you, enjoy it!**

**Chapter 2: Consequences and Comfort**

**Bella's POV**

I slammed the door behind me as I flew into Edward's room. How dare he speak to me like that!

I flopped down on his bed while trying to sort my emotions out, and think about the previous events.

He knew better than to test me! He knew I had a temper, and while I have to admit that I've been trying hard to control it, this was not the time for me to be trying.

Why was it then that he acted differently this time when I lost my temper with him, compared to all the other times? It was as if he just stopped taking my crap all of a sudden. Strange…I mean, I didn't want to hurt him or make him feel bad…but this was one of those times where I took a step too far.

The fires of my anger suddenly began to diminish as the guilt of what I'd said to him earlier, began to overwhelm me.

I didn't mean to swear at him, or call him the very name I despised hearing when it was on my best friend Jacob's lips. I felt my heart break a little when I saw the hurt that flashed in Edward's eyes after what I called him.

"Stupid Bella!"I scolded myself while smacking myself on the head. I couldn't believe that I had allowed myself to go that far!

Here Edward and his whole family was, fighting for MY life, and all I could do was doubt them, and be an idiot by attempting to help them in an even more idiotic manner!

"Almost drawing blood from your arm, Bella how could you be such a moron?" I muttered to myself while getting up and pacing towards the window. I didn't know how I was going to be able to do penance for that, plus humiliating myself in front of Edward's family with my temper, and again just a few minutes ago with Edward in front of their home.

I'm sure I'd find a way to punish myself…at that moment, I wished someone would smack me across the face or pull out my hair for how I treated Edward.

The guilt began to grow stronger, and it wasn't long before I felt tears of sorrow begin to well up in my eyes. I sniffed them back furiously…I didn't even deserve to cry!

How many times had I reacted this way to Edward in the past, and then he'd willingly forgive me, and then I'd weep tears of regret while promising myself that I'd never put myself in harm's way or lose my temper in front of him again?

It felt like I was on a continuous cycle…like I couldn't stop. Sure, I'd do well at keeping my temper in check for a while, and then at a sign of weakness, I'd lose it again and the whole damn thing would start all over again!

"Come on Bells, you're better than this and you know it." I said shakily to myself.

My body wanted to let me release those tears so badly, but I myself, did not, would not allow myself to cry. I hated releasing tears of self-pity and false repentance, when in my heart I knew that I would do it again.

I felt that this would be a good way to start punishing myself…by refusing to let myself cry…oh I hated it already!

If I couldn't cry, how else could I release my emotions? At that moment, I was in no mood to silently allow the feelings of depression and self-loathing blanket over me like a shadow, or swallow me up like the sea…

So instead, I did the next best thing…if I couldn't cry, then maybe I could at least hit something.

Not wanting to break anything, I targeted my furious blows at Edward's bed and pillows. I found to my annoyance, that although I repeated this action over and over again on those dead, easy objects, that I still, did not get the full release I wanted.

Hitting the pillows helped me get some of the energy out of my system yes, but the longer I hit them, the more I wanted to actually harm something…or someone.

In my blinding rage, I began to throw Edward's pillows all over the floor. But as the pillows began to run out, I found myself grabbing the nearest objects after them, and aiming them not only at the floor, but the walls and windows as well.

I didn't care…I kept on throwing whatever I could get my hands on!

His floor soon began to be littered with his pillows, his clothes, his favorite c.d.s, his pictures, his books, his piano music …

I blindingly grabbed something cold and hard, and hurled it at the window…

I instantly came to my senses when the object crashed through the window, and I stared in horror as the glass shattered all over the floor.

"Oh sh**!" I swore before falling limply onto the bed.

Oh what had I done? Edward would be furious with me!

Up until this time, I had forgotten that he had ordered me up into his room like some child who had misbehaved…

Frightened, I fell to the floor and crawled under his large bed. I felt like such a coward, hiding from him when I knew he wouldn't hurt me…

If it wasn't him I was hiding from, then who was it?

Myself…

I was hiding from myself…from my shame…from the mess I had just made of Edward's beautiful possessions.

I felt even worse now…none of what I had just done really helped me at all…the only thing it did for me was release a lot of power pent up inside of me. But now the guilt was worse…

"AAAHHH DAMN IT!" I shouted from under the bed! I couldn't help myself…as I curled up into a little ball, my tears broke through at last.

I couldn't stop them either, and I hated myself even more for being unable to stop the shameless tears that ran over my face like a dam.

What was Edward going to do with me? What was he going to say?

I vaguely remembered him threatening me that he would do something to me if I ever scared him again, but I couldn't remember what that was.

I was too busy sobbing in anguish at my own behavior. I felt at this moment, I would've taken the pain of being ripped apart by Victoria, rather than suffering from the emotional pain that was taking over me.

Was there any punishment worse than feeling lost in a sea of guilt and anger?

**Edward's POV**

I began to feel more confident about what I was going to do, as I made my way up to my room. I hoped that Bella wouldn't get hysterical, or wouldn't give me any reason to extend her discipline once I told her how I intended to solve her problems.

I paused before my bedroom door. _Well Edward, here it goes. Be prepared for weeping and gnashing of teeth from the drama queen. _I couldn't help but laugh at these thoughts.

"Bella I-" I stopped as the sight of my room met my eyes.

"What in the name of me?" I exclaimed quietly at the sight of my pillows, clothes, and random objects strewn everywhere across my room.

I looked at my bed, and saw marks upon it as if someone had been abusing it.

But when my eyes saw the broken window, I felt my lips involuntarily curl up into a dangerous snarl.

The fact that my girl was absent from the room made me feel even angrier. _Isabella Swan when I get a hold of you-!_

If she had tried to run away, I would have to calm myself down again before going after her.

"_Never discipline in anger." _I heard the words of my father echo in my head.

Sitting on top of the bed, I closed my eyes and slowly began to count to ten.

I felt myself grow calmer and relax as I counted…however when I reached ten, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone sniffling.

I looked around the room to find the source. I quickly got up and looked in my closet, but saw nothing in there that would be the cause. Guessing that it must've my Bella hiding somewhere, I called out softly yet with an authoritative tone, "Bella? Where are you luv?"

The only response I got was a stifled sob.

At once I realized where the sound was coming from. Getting on my knees, I bent down and looked under my bed.

The sight that met my eyes tore at my un-beating heart.

Bella was curled up in a pathetic little ball, and appeared to be sobbing hard into her arms.

I sighed with frustration. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I knew I'd have to be extra careful with her, knowing now that she was in a delicate position and really needed me.

"Bella?"

Slowly, my pale pixie looked at me with wide, upset, tear-filled eyes. Good grief, she appeared as a frightened faun!

Not wanting to frighten my hurting faun, I hurriedly held out my hand, letting my voice soothe her as I spoke.

"Bella…ma belle…come out from under there sweetheart."

I knew Bella loved that pet name I had chosen for her…"my beautiful one" always seemed to make her glow when uttered by her favorite immortal.

However, she still remained motionless, still staring at me uncertainly.

I realized that she was clearly far too distressed for any scolding, and so I held out my arms, wanting first and foremost to take away the fear I saw in my beloved's tear-streaked face.

"Come here, little mortal," I said, my voice as gentle as I could make it.

Bella's lip quivered and she held out her arms like a child wanting to be picked up, and I slowly took hold of her hands and slid her out from under the bed, and into my awaiting arms.

I lifted her up onto my lap as I sat on my bed, and held her close. She wrapped both her pale arms tightly around me, and buried her face in my shoulder. I could feel Bella trembling and trying to stop the tears that kept falling.

I rubbed my hands over her quivering shoulders, trying to reassure her.

"Shh, Bella…ma belle." I murmured. "It's alright luv, calm down."

Bella gasped a sob while nodding her head. I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to ease her fears, and finally after waiting for a while, she spoke.

"I-I'm s-sorry Edward…I…I didn't mean to say those horrible words to you. That was awful of me." She said in a small voice.

"I know you are love." I replied solemnly, smoothing her hair down, as she finally looked me in the eye.

"A-and then I got so…so angry when I came up here…th-that I-I just…I felt awful but I d-didn't wanna cry b-be…because I f-felt like I didn't deserve to release tha-that energy!" She tried to compose herself but it didn't seem to be working.

"Oh Bella, why would you do that? You know it's okay to cry, it's a healthy release." I admonished gently while stroking her hair.

"I-I know…but-but I felt like I didn't…didn't deserve to cr-cry because every time I di-did in the-the past after I exploded at you…I made a p-promise…to never lose my temper with you again! And I-I'm sick of repeating this cycle ov-over and over again with you…and…and hurting you Edward! I f-feel like my tears would just be m-more empty tears…mo-re empty pr-promises that I won't ever hurt you agai-again! I'm sick of crying in what seems to be se-self pity and f-false resentment!"

More tears spilled out of her eyes, as she looked down ashamed. "But they were…it was…a-a-BROKEN PROMISE!"

I listened sadly as my poor love poured her heart out to me. Telling me all of the feelings of guilt and shame that built up inside of her whenever we argued or she did something that endangered her life.

My poor love…

It amazed me how like a child she could be when crying and in my arms like this.

When she finally finished telling me how she felt, I continued to hold her and let her cry. I feared that she would make herself sick if she kept this up.

"Hush ma belle…I'm right here. Calm down luv, this isn't healthy for such a fragile little human like you. You should never try to pent up your emotions."

She didn't reply, but continued to weep in my arms.

I was finally able to calm her down, and made her breathe with me so that she could control her tears. "Bella, we need to talk." I said at last when she had gotten a hold of herself.

I felt Bella take several deep breaths before wiping her eyes, and sitting up on my lap. "I'm surprised you're not pissed at me Edward. I mean, I destroyed your room."

I chuckled softly while kissing her forehead. "No darlin, I'm not angry with you. I definitely don't approve of what you did and how your behavior has been, but I'm not angry with _you_. There is a difference you know."

Bella nodded her head while looking down again. "So…I suppose you want to talk now huh?"

I nodded gravely while taking her face in my hands and tilting it up to meet my gaze. "Yes Bella, are you feeling better and ready to talk with me now?"

She paused, but then nodded her head. "Yes Edward…" She responded quietly.

"I'm…I'm so sorry Edward…"

"What are you sorry for Bella?"

She bit her lip, "I…I've treated you badly, I've repeatedly put myself in danger, and I humiliated myself by acting like a little brat in front of you and your amazing family."

"Yes you did," I agreed, my tone becoming more serious again. "We're going to talk about that now my love."

Bella nodded shyly, before folding her hands neatly in her lap and looking at me expectantly.

"Good." I replied while giving her head a reassuring pat.

"Now Bella, I know you don't want to hear this, but you worried me half to death today when you nearly pulled that little stunt with the rock during the battle."

"I know…" Bella mumbled while looking down.

I sighed before continuing. "Not only that, but you proceeded to give me lip and throw a childish temper tantrum afterwards when I confronted you about it. I know you have a right to express how you feel at times Bella, and I know that you have a temper, but Bella," I leaned in closer to her face, "you are to never, ever shout at me like that in front of my family, or utter such unwholesome talk like that again. Do you understand?"

She cringed as I said this, but refused to look at me as I got nearer to her. "Yes Edward…" She replied softly.

"Look at me Bella…" I commanded gently, while putting my finger under her chin. Bella hated when anyone did that to her, even if it was me, and turned her face away from me.

"No Bella," I reprimanded firmly while tightening my hold on her chin. "Look at me little girl."

Bella grudgingly turned her face towards mine, this time with a hint of defiance in her eyes.

Ignoring the look she gave me, I asked her, "Bella, do you remember what I said would happen if you ever, willingly put yourself in danger again? Even if it was for the sake of others?"

Bella looked at me confused at first, but as I stared at her, giving her a chance to remember, he eyes suddenly widened in what appeared to be remembrance.

**Bella's POV **

I knew that I deserved to be scolded, and even worse. But I hated how little I felt as Edward rebuked to me.

At first, the question he asked me took me by surprise, and I didn't think he'd actually expect me to remember.

But as he sat there patiently, waiting for me to answer, my mind began to take a trip down memory lane.

Well, pretty soon my brain found the file that consisted of mine and Edward's many conversations in the past, and my eyes widened as I remembered the day he threatened me for the first time.

"_Bella, I can't believe you just ran off with Jake like that! Do you realize how dangerous it was for you to go out of Alice's sight? She can't see you with that dog Bella!"_

"_Yeah that was kind of the point Edward." _I had snickered sarcastically at the time, not taking him seriously.

"_And why were you so worried? You do realize that Jacob is just as strong as you, and could've protected me if anything were to happen?"_

Edward had glared daggers at me as we discussed this in my room. _"Bella, I'm not willing to take that risk. And it's not just that, it's the fact that you knowingly went with him anyway, even though you KNEW it would worry all of us! We can't protect you on their land Bella; it's their territory! Look, maybe I'm just being protective of you-"_

"_Yeah, that's exactly what you're being Edward. Overprotective, and just a jerk!" _I had interrupted him angrily, my temper starting to flare up.

I remembered Edward had closed his eyes tightly and turned away from me for a moment. If he could breathe, I'd imagine he'd be taking several deep breaths to compose himself before answering my retort.

When he finally did, it was not something I was expecting...or liked.

"_Isabella Marie Swan," _he had said with a dangerous calm, using my full name, which sent chills down my spine.

_If you ever…scare me or my family like that again…merely to satisfy your needs and get what you want even if it puts you in any kind of danger…you will find yourself over my knee so fast you won't even be able blink. Do you understand me?"_

My eyes widened at the remembered promise. I had been incredulous at the threat, and felt my heartbeat speed up as I realized he was being completely, dead serious.

"_Edward…you wouldn't…" _I had gasped in disbelief at the guarantee.

"_I would ma belle…and I wouldn't advise you to test me on that promise…because trust me, I won't forget."_

As the scene faded from my mind, I found myself gasping in panic, before bolting off of Edward's lap.

He merely stared at me…his gaze loving yet serious at the same time…

"Edward...no...please…" I whimpered, realizing what was about to happen.

Edward's POV

"Yes Bella." I responded now, keeping my voice quiet yet firm.

"No…Edward please don't…I promise I'll be more careful…I'll never put myself in such a dangerous position again. Anything but that!" She spoke quickly in a panicked tone, while backing against the wall.

"That is what you said last time, my Bella," I replied, managing with an effort, to harden my heart against my beloved's pleading.

"And yet you ignored my warning, and put yourself in harm's way again. I told you what the consequences would be, and it would be wrong of me to go back on my word."

"B-but I'm sorry!" She now whimpered pitifully. "Please don't do that Edward, please don't! I'm sorry I scared you and the others so much…I-I promise, I won't do it again, but please don't spank me!"

Forcing myself not to be swayed, I slowly stood up and walked towards my frightened love. "Bella, what do you think would be worse? Getting painfully killed by Victoria? Or getting spanked by me? Which do you think would keep you safe from harm? Which do you think would end sooner? Which do you think would be less painful?"

Bella opened her mouth, but no sound would come out. After sputtering a few nonsensical words, she finally managed out, "A sp-spanking…by you…"

I nodded my head calmly while stopping in front of her slouched form.

"B-but Edward…wouldn't spanking me be hurting me technically? It's not only physically painful, it's also humiliating!" She cried out while bringing her hands to her face.

I quickly reached out and gently pulled her hands from her face. "Shh, Bella…listen to me luv. Yes, the spanking will hurt, but the pain will not stay for long, and afterwards all will be well again. You will no longer feel the lingering guilt or remorse or self-hatred that you can't seem to get rid of now…the slate will be wiped clean, and you will feel refreshed…renewed. I know it seems silly, but Carlisle always did the same for the rest of us whenever we needed correction."

"H-he did?" Bella asked, her surprise momentarily eclipsing her fear.

I nodded my head while smiling a little at the memories.

"Yes, Bella, he did all the time. Even though I hated getting spanked, there was no denying that I deserved it and Carlisle loved me throughout the whole process. In fact, even through the pain, I would never want to give up the feeling of his arms holding me close during the chastisement, or the loving comfort he offered me afterwards."

I stroked her face as I said this, trying to offer some measure of comfort, even though I would have to bring discomfort to her poor little backside soon.

Bella seemed to understand but still didn't look satisfied at all with my reasoning.

"Let me tell you something that Carlisle once told me my love. When I asked him the same question you asked me after getting spanked one time, do you know what he told me?"

She shook her head slowly, as she appeared mesmerized by my words.

"He said, _'a spanking is not meant to lessen. It is meant to nourish. When you're over my knee Edward, even though I may not physically say it, what I'm showing you is 'I care about you. I am not apathetic to your need, your guilt, your behavior. I will not walk away. You will not be passed over or ignored. I see you, and I care enough to discipline you.'_"

I paused, looking at my beloved's pale face. "And that's why I'm not going to fail you now ma belle."

Bella closed her eyes while looking down nervously. It seemed I got the message across at last, and I began to slowly lead her back towards my bed.

"Do you understand me now my love?" I asked while sitting on the bed, and pulling Bella to stand in between my knees.

"I do…Edward…" She mumbled quietly while nodding her head.

I nodded, relieved that she had calmed down and understood my reasoning. "Good. Just remember that you don't ever need to fear me in situations like this. I love you and always will no matter what…and that's why I'm going to spank you. Come now, let's get this over with."

I tenderly turned Bella and settled her easily over my lap. She made no protest or struggle…making it easier for the both of us.

When she was secured over my lap, I set one hand on her back in reassurance.

She sniffled quietly while burying her face into her arms on the bed.

I pondered spanking her on the bare, but then I remembered my promise to Alice to go easy on her since it was her first, and settled with just administering the chastisement over her undies.

I flipped her shirt up, and tugged down the sweat pants she was wearing. Bella squeaked in protest and arched her back while looking at me fearfully. "Oh Edward, no!"

"There now, my Bella," I murmured while rubbing her back soothingly, "remember…I'm here with you. Be brave for me."

Bella slowly but obediently lowered her head back down, submitting to what was about to happen. "Must you do it this way?" She whined without looking back at me.

"I must, my swan." I replied simply. I did not want to drag this out, so lifting my hand in the air, I brought it down firmly over her bottom.

I heard her gasp and jump as it landed, her head jerking up in shock. But no tears had come yet.

Then lifting my hand up again, I proceeded to rain down a rhythm of steady swats over Bella's little backside.

With each swat, her reaction was different…at first, there were just gasps. However as each swat fell, it came to my attention that she was attempting to be stoic through out her discipline.

I allowed my swats to fall harder as I encourage my beloved over my knee. "Bella, hear me luv, do not try to keep your tears locked inside. Release them now little one."

As I spoke, I increased the speed of the swats. Bella didn't answer, but proceeded to cry quietly as I spoke. By then end of my speech, she was weeping a little more openly.

I didn't have an official number where I would stop, but I knew when enough would be enough for my fragile mortal. She needed enough that would get the point across, and allow her release from her emotional prison.

I'm here and I love you Bella…please…don't hold back…

After a couple of seconds had passed, I noticed that Bella began tightly clutching onto my leg as the sting of my hand was finally getting to her.

It wasn't long after that she began to lightly flail her arms and legs, the pain clearly getting to her poor backside.

Bella began sobbing more openly than I'd ever heard her before…it was as if she was crying out the deepest pain that she had allowed to be built up inside of her heart.

Oh Bella, where is all of this coming from? Why must you put yourself through such torment?

"OWWWW! Edward, it hurts!"

"I know it does ma belle." I murmured. Forcing myself to remain stern, I swatted again, this one as sharp as the other ones had been.

Bella cried out a shrill, piteous wail that seemed to echo throughout the house.

"EDWAAAARD!" She gasped loudly while continuing to sob.

"I know love," I replied sympathetically, trying hard to ignore the sobs that tore at my cold heart. "That's the way, let it all out. I'm here…I understand your pain. Don't be ashamed."

And Bella did just that. Her cries rose in pitch and volume as I continued to spank her.

I knew that it would be soon coming to an end, and the comforting would start right away.

"Just hold on a little while longer Bella, we're almost done." I crooned quietly while tightening my other arm around Bella's waist, securing her close to me, trying to let her know that she was safe in my arms.

"Edward! Edward stoooop! Please!" She bawled while burying her face into the bed comforter.

I didn't reply, but I felt myself begin to slow down as she pressed her self closer against me, taking small comfort in the half embrace as I continued to spank her.

"OW! I can't take it anymore Edward please! I'm sorry! I-I'm so sooooooooorrrry!"

At last…my beloved went limp over my lap, and I slowed the swats down even more, yet still firmly applying each of them to her now rosy bottom.

Her surrender told me clearly that she had gotten the point across, and the spanking ended.

Coming from the love of my life, those heart-wrenching cries were simply too heartrending for me to bear.

In the past, I remembered that Carlisle had always let me stay across his lap for a little while after the spanking was over, whispering words of comfort, while allowing me time to catch my breath and relax again.

However, in this instance I found I simply could not bear to go another moment without gathering Bella into my arms.

Once the last swat had been administered, I paused for barely a moment before lifting my beloved off my lap and into a comforting embrace, holding her tenderly against my chest.

Bella promptly flung both arms around my neck, clinging to me desperately and sobbing into my shoulder. I immediately began rubbing her back soothingly, crooning any gentle litanies of reassurance to her that came to mind.

"Shhhh, my little swan," I whispered. "There, hush now, it is all over. You did so well dear one, I'm proud of you. Shhhh, you are safe. I am here with you, and all is forgiven. My brave, beautiful girl."

I continued to speak endlessly, offering nonsense words of comfort while rocking her back and forth.

I knew that my poor girl wouldn't be able to sit for a while, so I gently picked her up, and re-positioned myself on the bed so that I was lying down on my back, with her on top of me.

As Bella's gasping sobs began to decrease, I continued to trail kisses down her tear-stained cheeks, and rub her back in soothing circles.

After a couple more minutes of repeating these motions, Bella had finally stopped crying, and was quietly sniffling every few seconds.

Not wanting her to feel anymore exposed, I gently reached down and pulled Bella's sweat pants up over her soar backside, drawing an unwanted hiss from her mouth.

"Ouch…my butt really hurts…" She mumbled plaintively while pouting in my direction.

I chuckled in understanding at her words. "Just be glad you weren't wearing jeans Bella. Those wouldn't be fun to feel on your warm little backside after one of these sessions." I teased while poking her nose playfully.

"Only you could get away with teasing me after spanking me…" She replied a little indignantly while burying her face in my chest.

I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable she was at that moment, all cuddled up in my embrace.

I heard her stifle a yawn, and realized that she must've been exhausted from all her tears and struggling through out the spanking.

"Edward…I really am sorry…" Bella said quietly as she yawned again.

"I know you are Bells, and you know that I forgive you. So promise me that you'll no longer give yourself a guilt trip for what has passed. It's forgiven and forgotten. Understand?" I asked while pushing back her hair that seemed to fall around her face.

Bella nodded against my chest, while trailing her finger up and down my stomach.

"Feel better now ma belle?" I asked seriously while tightening my hold around her back.

Bella slowly looked at me with a tired yet seemingly grateful expression on her face. "Well…my bottom doesn't…but my heart does." She replied while smiling with grateful relief.

"You were right Edward…I needed to release my pent up hurt and guilt, and you did just that for me. I was afraid I'd never be able to feel this renewed again."

I smiled in reply while kissing her on the forehead. "Thank you…so much…" She added in a small whisper, as a look of peace spread out over her face.

"You're welcome my love. And hopefully, you'll never have to go through this again. But if you do, just remember that you have someone who loves you more than any jewels or gold in the world, who is here to help you when you are in need of care and attention."

"I know Edward…I'll remember…and I'll try harder to not be so stupid." Bella promised while her eyes began to blink drowsily.

"Oh you're not stupid Bella, never call yourself that. You just need to think before you act or speak sometimes that's all. I mean, after all, your human. And to err is human." I replied comfortingly while caressing her pale arms.

"Then what does that make you? Perfect?" She drawled sleepily; ah, my swan was fading away.

"No," I laughed quietly, "I'm damned remember? But at this point, I think it's worth it. What would my world be like without you my Bella? It'd be dead. Sometimes I feel like I can remember what it feels like to be alive…to have a beating heart, just by being near you ma belle."

There was a serene silence that followed, and for a moment, I thought that Bella had fallen asleep. However I was proven wrong when I felt her laughing quietly against my chest. "I feel like I'm in a book or a movie or something with you saying such beautiful stuff like that to me all the time."

I shared in her laughter. "What? I can't lavish you with precious words of love?"

"Noooo, you can pull it off," she giggled sleepily; I could tell that she needed to close her eyes soon and rest or else she would be talking like someone high off of crack soon.

"Somehooow, yooou make those lines seem less cheesy Mr. Dazzler." Her speech was becoming harder to understand.

I shook my head while laughing some more before sliding her off of my chest and drawing her next to my side on the bed.

"All right, that's enough out of you little girl. Now close your eyes and sleep before you hurt yourself."

"Mkay…" She replied obediently with a childish giggle, before snuggling her face into my neck and quickly nodding off into slumber land.

How I envied her of that …being able to sleep. Oh well, being deprived of it was worth it…as long as she was always near wear I could take her into my arms whenever she needed shelter from the storms in her life.

I was her sun, providing warmth in the cold cockles of her heart; and she was my light, eclipsing the shadows in my life.

**Author's Note: Okay, so I know it was oober mushy, but I couldn't help myself. Anyway, I sincerely hope that it pleased all of my dear readers! Please review, but be kind and don't flame **** Much love!**

**Maternalluv20/ Other Mother**


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